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Septoplasty: The Story Of a Mouth Breather

Why Hello there. It has been over a week since I have last written anything for LiftLaughLive and for good reason. I have been healing up from a Septoplasty. For those who are unaware, I broke my nose back in high school (Thank you Cleat to the face). A Septoplasty is when a doctor goes into your nose, and redirects your septum, and cleans the nasal passages of all sorts of crap that is obstructing your breathing. As a human I am so excited to be able to breathe out of the right side of my nose, but as a strongman and an athlete I am even more excited that I will be able to do cardio and sleeping much more efficiently. For years, I have been a slave to snoring and mouth breathing. Not only that, but I have always been effected by colds and sinus issues because a deviated septum tends to keep all sorts of gnarly shit stuck in your nose and throat. So for the first time in years, I am able to breathe correctly.

Not everything is all sunshine and rainbows however. The recovery time is relatively short, about a week to 10 days ( I think I will be taking 2 weeks from lifting just to be safe…..HA yeah right) but do not think that the short duration means that it is easy. The first two days of this procedure were hell for me. It was cruel and unusual punishment having about 6 feet of gauze stuffed in your nose and head, along with 4 inch plastic stints, which make it feel like your head is going to explode. Sleep is essentially impossible for as soon as you move, you are reminded of the huge amount of non-biodegradable plastics cohabitating your skull with your soft brain and tissues. It’s a bizarre and uncomfortable feeling. After two days however you get the packing removed. This can only be described as a disgusting and medieval torture practice. To put it in perspective, it is like a magician pulling a never-ending rainbow scarf from his sleeve, but replace with sleeve with your nasal passages, and the scarf with a snot and blood-drenched gauze that justtttt started to heal so it rips and tears as it makes its exit. It’s a beautiful thing, and I made sure my doctor understood how I thought he was an asshole.

But now….now is a different story. I just got the Stints out of my nose and let me tell you…I can breathe. I not only can breathe better, but I can smell better. I mean superhuman smelling ability. My fart detection has increased by roughly 212%. I smell so good, I smell the THOUGHT of you farting. Insane. So what is my plan with my new capabilities? Well I believe that I will be taking a day or two to ACTUALLY rest considering sleep has been a sick joke for the last week, but after that…well its go time. I have to get my new training cycle squared away, and I will be going full bore into trying to get my Nationals Bid before Nationals in October. If I do not manage to get it, I can still be proud of making incredible personal progress this year in terms of my strength and athleticism, so it is a win win really.

Training is starting to pick up as well. I just signed up an entire Divisional Paintball team to train with me (Post In Progress), as well as a few more online clients looking to make a change in their lives. Just because I was down and out with a surgery doesn’t mean the wheels of progress aren’t turning. As always if you are looking to jump aboard and become one of my athletes please email at I look forward to hearing from you.

So that’s all I got for today, I will be starting up the training videos later this week, and will continue with the regularly scheduled programming as usual…just with a better nose. Thank you all for your kinds words over the last week or so. I am excited to be back to Lift Heavy, Laugh Hard, and Live the Damn life I want to.

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